sad girl core

I don't wanna feel blue anymore 🎵🎶 I am truly trying. I'm making an effort. I'm trying not to feel sad, I've been laughing and having good times with people. I'm not closing myself, I'm meeting new people. I just can't stop feeling down. I can't stop missing people. I can't stop thinking about moments with these people I miss. I miss my almost ex boyfriend. I miss my father. I miss them so much. I look at the pic of my father and I can't believe he's gone, it's crazy. I can't stop feeling terrible because I feel like I owe him an apology, I don't know, I'd give him a giant hug for the last time. I'm so sorry, I love you so so much.  I miss talking to my almost ex boyfriend about this. He'll be in my memories forever. What a man. Unique. He's almost impossible to forget, but I'm truly trying. 

It's such a cliché when we say that life's too short. That doesn't make it less true unfortunately.  I've seen how my father died from one day to another. How he went to bed and the next day he woke up thinking about having breakfast but instead he had a stroke and died. I've seen his last WhatsApp connection while he was almost dead and it was like 8 hours ago. He was alive 8 hours ago at that time. So yes, life's too short. He wanted to travel alone. He wanted to visit a lot of places. He wanted to go to a lot of concerts. He wanted to have a lot of delicious meals. He wanted to visit his friends. He wanted to see me. He wanted to live for a couple more years. He couldn't. So every day I live, I have this mindset of doing what I really like. Doing what I love. Fuck everything, if it's something that makes me happy, that doesn't hurt me, doesn't hurt anyone, let's go then.  I can't comprehend that are people that don't th...

Spending my day off crying because you don't love me the way I love you. You don't want me the same way I want you. My days are grey, but I hope yours are brighter. My mood is always terrible but I hope yours is better. I always dream about coming back with you, but I hope you can move on and feel good.  I feel terrible, and I love you so much so I wish you don't feel the same way. Because it hurts a lot, it's tiring, exhausting, painful, scarring. Not knowing what you did wrong to deserve that amount of pain, not knowing why you can't be with someone you love so deeply, and who loves you back, not knowing why you can't be happy with your soulmate, it's a drowning feeling, it desperates me so I hope you truly are okay. You are a sunshine, please don't feel down.

You don't want to be around me at all, I can feel it. And it breaks my heart.  You don't wanna hear about me, you just want to erase me from your life and pretend like I never existed. Like you never met me. You never spent time with me, entire nights with me. Like I am a random one from your work environment.  You have a super strong mind and you can control your feelings very well. Your ethics are more powerful than what you feel, and that's impressive.  It's sad how you are missing a cute love story just because of your stubbornness. Sad to me, not to you. Because you're missing a lot. Not only great experiences, but most importantly, you're leaving a person who loved and loves you from the bottom of her heart, who loves you purely and warningly because you worth it. Who would do anything for you, who wanted a future with you, who wanted a future with someone for the first time.  And she doesn't want to be with anyone else, the idea of it just...

You went to a party I heard from everybody You part the crowd like the red sea Don't even get me started Did you get anxious, though On the way home? I guess I'll never ever know Now that we don't talk You grew your hair long You got new icons And from the outside It looks like you're trying lives on I miss the old ways You didn't have to change But I guess I don't have a say Now that we don't talk I call my mom, she said that it was for the best Remind myself the morе I gave, you'd want me less I cannot bе your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost, now that we don't talk What do you tell your friends we Shared dinners, long weekends with? Truth is, I can't pretend it's Platonic, it's just ended, so I call my mom, she said to get it off my chest Remind myself the way you faded till I left I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost And what it cost, now that we don't talk I don't ha...