happy (trying)




I'm not like super super happy but I've been feeling so much better lately. I even forgot to post new entries here because I'm always busy working or doing some home chores or simply hanging out with my coworkers (friends! If you ask me) so sometimes I joke about it and say ironically that life smiles at me but I really think it's kinda true. I feel free, in peace, a bit nostalgic about some things but it's not that serious. I feel good. I feel motivated, curious about things again, I remember I was so depressed I even lost curiosity about things and that honestly wasn't me! But now it looks like everything is starting to fall into place and it's so cute I start to feel emotional. I feel like I've been in such at a bad place for so many time that seeing myself like this now feels unrealistic, crazy, untrue but amazing! 

I even used to not have interest in anyone, and now I'm doing crazy things I barely recognize myself, I used to have ideals, you know? But well, life's too short so fuck it. 

My programming skills are slowly getting better I think. Cheers for that. I need to have a salary in dollars lmfao. 

My closet is filled with cute clothes and shoes. I'll go out to a party this Saturday night with my bff's. I plan to drink a lot of alcohol because you know, life's too short. So fuck it. 

My birthday is coming. In a month exactly. I hate August due to those unfortunately and unforgettable moments, but I'll be okay, I wish. I have faith. 

Things are going well. I'm not going to complain in this entry. 💝

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

day off

Image
Spending my day off crying because you don't love me the way I love you. You don't want me the same way I want you. My days are grey, but I hope yours are brighter. My mood is always terrible but I hope yours is better. I always dream about coming back with you, but I hope you can move on and feel good.  I feel terrible, and I love you so much so I wish you don't feel the same way. Because it hurts a lot, it's tiring, exhausting, painful, scarring. Not knowing what you did wrong to deserve that amount of pain, not knowing why you can't be with someone you love so deeply, and who loves you back, not knowing why you can't be happy with your soulmate, it's a drowning feeling, it desperates me so I hope you truly are okay. You are a sunshine, please don't feel down.
Read more

love love love

Image
After a long time suffering because of my almost ex boyfriend, I no longer have sadness in my life, instead of that, I'm feeling happy and in love again. My boyfriend now is nothing like my ex, he's lovely, caring, funny, he understands me better, he shows me he likes me, he doesn't argue with me at all, we don't fight over stupid things, everything in out relationship is beautiful. I'm still trying to fully trust him and I'm finally starting to worry less about things and leaving behind my insecurities.  We spent almost a week together and it was perfect. I miss him now because we're apart, I feel these butterflies in my stomach and I can't wait to see him again.  I don't want this to end. Only time will tell.
Read more

idk

Image
  this place is so depressing i want to say something more cheerful but i cant think about anything lmfao the only good thing i can say right now is that music helps me a lot when i feel bad-sad-anxious-like shit, it relaxes me so much and relieves me in almost a dreamy way and its crazy and cute at the same time its super nice because when i listen to for example the hana and durante eps i totally forget about how miserable i am lol and how bad i used to feel minutes ago. its very helpful and refreshing. i wish i didnt need to listen to music to stop feeling like crap lmao but it is what it is and i have to live with myself this way  oh and another cute thought that crossed my mind: my best friend told me my ex boyfriend is happily in love with his new girlfriend and i genuinely felt so happy for him because he is such a good dude, he truly deserves the best life can offer lol so cheesy but still, he is kind and a beautiful person. he has been the least toxic partner ive ever...
Read more