the sadness of it all

whats the right way to handle the losing of a loved one? my aunt is always talking about mental illness and what we should do to keep our mind healthy. i lost my grand parents a couple years ago and last year i lost my father in one day. i woke up that morning with the afwul news. my uncle always cries because of course he misses my grand parents, his parents, hes really trying but he misses them so much he cries very often, sometimes in front of his family, in front of everyone. i do the opposite and rarely cry, almost never in front of people, just in front of my mother and just one time. but i cant cry, i dont want to. it fucking hurts and my dads not coming back, i miss him and i would love to say things to him but hes not here anymore. i dont cry, i try to think about something else when i start to tear up, i try to keep my mind busy. my aunt says my uncle is dealing with the grief the wrong way, she says he needs psychological help because he seems like he wants to suffer, he wants to remember the sad moments, he wants to cry. she doesnt know i dont want to cry, she doesnt know i avoid it. i imagine her saying i should cry and not hide my feelings because thats even worst. then, is there a right way to deal with it? arent we doing the best we can? i understand my uncle and i always try to support him, to let him know im always on his side and that he can count on me for everything. and maybe he needs professional help because it has been years from my grand parents death. but its not easy to live with that sadness inside and we try to do what we can to get used to it and just keep on living.